EPILOGUE... A few days later...

"... Reed Richards..."

"Toyville Citizens, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press... now that Law, Order and Reality has been restored I can announce that, as the result of an anonymous tip-off, the person responsible for the recent occurance of 'Anti-Reality' was this morning arrested - it was none other than infamous Toyville Mad Scientist... "HAH! DOOM told you so - it was all Richards' Fault!" "... his latest Negative Zone experiment had gone seriously awry, undermining Toyville's very existence. I can promise you all that he will be serving a very long stretch in prison!"

... Clancy Wiggum!" Meanwhile, across town...

"And in other news, to stop such events happening again, Toyville has hired a new Chief of Police. No quick custom this one, or reject from a lousy live-action Gerry Anderson Sci-Fi series this one. I have scoured far and wide in search and found one of the best loved, longest serving Police Chiefs on record... Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you the new Toyville Chief of Police...

"Eh?" "You haven't forgotten again have you? It's the day of your trial at the Law Courts... for the libellous allegations about Michelle Pfeiffer appearing in never-made, sleazeball films." "Oopsie" "Oh... before you go, sir, this came in the post this morning." "Ah, perhaps it's the other Ilsa movies that Michelle made..." "Erm... that's a few more million on the fine!" "D'oh! Well, let's see what's in the box then..." "Eh? The Necronomicon? What the f..."

"Excuse me, sir - I've got the car ready."   "Another cursed Tome? What have you done to offend Readers Digest, sir?" "Does this mean I'll have to stock up on the anti-zombie spray... again?" "Ooooo... does this mean I'm going to get to turn all evil and *giggle* eat you, sir?" "Damnit, Sandy, there wasn't too much double to that entrendre was there?"   "No, I'll tell you what it means girls...

... someone's monkeying around with the plot!"

"oook... very subtle, bub. Look, it's an ironic twist..." "We've had that already - look; books, courtcase... you can't go repeating plots so darned quickly!"

"pssst, hey, Sandy, do you reckon MiskatonicNick's going to spank his monkey in front of us" "oooo... giggle"

"See, it was worth it for that gag! Besides, they repeat plots even quicker in those endless damned Trek and Stargate series..."

"oh crap, Death!?!" "CONGRATULATIONS, WITH THE BESMIRCHING OF STAR TREK AND STARGATE YOU HAVE COMPLETED A FULL SET OF POP CULTURE DEFILEMENTS; TREK, SG, STAR WARS, GI JOE, JOHN WAYNE, BRITNEY SPEARS, A CERTAIN WHOLLY INNOCENT AND VERY LITIGIOUS FAIRGROUND-OWNING POP STAR, THE OLSEN TWINS AND THE X-MEN..." "The X-Men? Hang on, I haven't bitched about them yet..."

"Oi... and we've done that gag too..." "MISKATONICNICK"

"OH, BUT YOU WILL AND YOU KNOW IT... "damn, that's true"

...THE WRATH OF GEEKS AND FANS WORLDWIDE, WHO HAVE SUFFERED HIS STORY, DEMAND YOUR IMMEDIATE DEATH!" "eep... erm, Pinky... Sandy... HELP!" "Ermmm... sorry, boss, but even my wild, bloodthirsty fighting skills might be a bit pushed up against death!" "... and even my selfless, infatuated and sexually-obsessed loyalty to you knows some bounds, sir." "Oh bugger... where did I put that 1/6th scale chess set... no, wait, hang on... I was the star of this story...

"YOU? PAH! A LIKELY TALE" "Yeah, I know... but honest, I jest not. It was that chimp chump down there who was writing it all the time! He still is... don't you feel an inexplicable urge to start throwing your..." "I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST THE READERS FEELING THAT AND WANTING TO HURL IT AT THE SCREEN... BUT WAIT... YES I DO... AND I'M A SKELETON, I DON'T EVEN CRAP!" "ook" "CHIMPANZEE, THE REAPER COMETH FOR THEE..."

"oook. Ah well, it's a fair cop...   "Way to go, sir... that's the RSPCA, PETA and various Animal Rights groups after you now too..."

...and death's certainly better than being sent back to Neverla..     "Ah, but they don't know who I am do they, Pinky? Heh, and people still wonder why I wear a bag over my head! Ah well, that's that - the end of another Toyville 'epic' and with the chimp gone I might have to write the next one myself." "Sheesh, Another? What have the poor readers done to you?" "Erm, please, sir... do I deserve a spanking for letting you down in the face of death? I do don't I sir... please sir..." "Ho hum, back to business as usual."   THE END (at last!)

a MiskatonicNick/Chump The Chimp Production . based on jokes recycled from the last one . Filmed on the Toshiba PDR-M4, PDR-3330 and Konica Minolta Z-10 (this story ate cameras!) MiskatonicNick's bag by Discrete Brown Paper Packaging Inc. Nazi Zombies from Sixth Space/Star Collector, Toxic Momma & Poppo Toys . with thanks to A.W.P., Nova Satori Xusesos, Glenda H, Lycia C., Doll's Domain, all at MWD, the UK Barbie Group, Benson Entertainment and anyone else I've forgotten... and apologies to all of them too!