"Woohoo! THE John Wayne! Talk about the Cavalry arriving just in time!" "Erm... don't be too hasty, Pinky... ... look, I'm 'fraid ol'John's been hitting the bourbon again!" "Look out, John! He's got a knife!"

*hic* why don't the two of yous just hold still while I shoot ya"

"Knife, eh... typical cheap commie trick!" "Damn you Wayne... I'M the REAL American Hero!"   "You ain't nuthin' but a pinko-leftie queer... and ol' Marion's gonna give that commie-lovin' ass of yours a good whippin', boy!" With neither able to seize the upper hand, the duel of the Dukes is savage and brutal... ... unfortunately it's also on the edge of Toyville Canyon...

"get my bloody agent on the phone!"

... with the inevitable result... "NOOOOooooooooooo...."

"What? How is it possible to kill the wrong Olsen twins?" "You got the Nazi ones..." "... like there are others?"

"oh no... I can't look..." "Oh, way to go - wipe out the Joes, kill off John Wayne... well, there goes the American audience demographic!" "Don't worry Pinky, I'm sure they'll stay tuned in for your cleavage. And I think Mr Wayne would've wanted to have to 'talk' to me too over my pinko liberal leanings! Besides, this stories almost over - just gotta stop the Olsens getting hold of my Holy Grail" "Hah! I've already done that, MiskatonicNick, sir - I killed them" "You killed the wrong Olsen twins though, Pinky."

"Yep, the two who betrayed me and have got the keys to the unlock the Holy Grail - c'mon girls; there can't be much time left; only three pages left to go!"

A short time later, as Miskatonic and the Obitsu sisters step out onto the grassy plain across from which grows the Mystic Wood, wherein lies the gateway to the Grail...

"... so, how come... even with this Ghostly Action Man's help you still got duped by the Olsen Twins of all people..." "Well..." "Because bagheaded one stupid idiot is... walks into obvious does he" "Hey, now that's a bit harsh, Kermit...

..oops... but I see your point..."   "ohmigod... where did all these Jedi come from?"

"Grail location ripped was by Jedi babes from minds of the Joneses. Lie in wait enroute did we..." "But if you know where the Grail is, why wait for me?" "Bad-mouth our movies did the Bagheaded bitch son of... Jedi whip his sorry ass will"

"Uhoh... erm... Pinky, my slightly sociopathic and trigger-happy bodyguard what are our chances?" "Well, I think mine are pretty good..." "Remember that Jedi are celebate, Pinky, and so aren't interest in your cleavage!" "Bugger. Then we might be screwed - though if we could diminish their numbers even slightly I might be able to take a few out" "But how can we..." "Quickly, Miskatonic... use your super-powers of Geekdom!"

"What? Oh, of course... let's see... ... right; Whoa! That's wrong; two figures of the same character! On your bike, you cheating Obi-Wan Kenobis! "Damn, rumbled... the force of Geekdom is powerful in this one, Youngling Ben..." "Especially if he can see through my lousy sculpt, Old Ben" "Right, that's two down...

...hmmmm... ah, hello, hello, hello... if any of the bearded Obi-Wans are here then you shouldn't be, Qui-Gon; you're dead!" "Eh? What?" "Aha.. and I've defeated you already Anakin, twice, removing you from Toyville's wonky continuity forever you sulky little brat!" "NOOOOOOOO! I HATE YOU! I'm going to my room!" "No, young Skywalker... you are not going anywhere...

...except into glorious victory over this fool!" "Yes, master..." "Hey, Miskatonic, you're the gee... erm, expert... who is that? The Emperor?" "I don't think so Pinky... though judging by his Red Light Sabre he's up to no good... but who could counter my Geek powers... except... except... oh sh...