Then suddenly... out of nowhere...

"What the..." "Look out Pinky... ... NAZI ZOMBIES!"

"Hmmm... I think we might have to get you some pretty serious counselling, PInky" "Did I get them all, Sandy?" "I don't know Pinky - I had my eyes closed." "Yeah, me too - well, let's not stay around to find out; now we're outta town we've got to find MiskatonicNick before anything untoward might happen to him!"

"WOO HOO! I'll get 'em! And this time they'll stay dead! Ooooo... just listen to them bounce and splatter all over the place! Yee-Ha!

Of course, with their eyes closed throughout the whole Zombie flattening incident, Pinky and Sandy never saw MiskatonicNick bravely cowering in the shrubbery...

"Bloody hell - is it just me or did someone just drive a big old truck through a plothole and kill these zombies? Damn, even for Toyville that's a cornball resolution to a cliffhanger!

Well, I guess I'd better go and try to stop the Olsens from getting their mitts on my Holy Grail!

... should be safer now that the zombies have been wiped out..."

INTERLUDE. Anyone wondering about that briefly-mentioned second GI Joe search party? Well, bad luck, you're going to find out anyhow. Lead by Pathfinder and comprised of such well-known second stringers as Big Ben, Lowlight, Blowjob, Skidmark, Tripwire and Swamp Rat they find themselves deep in Toyville woodland...

"C'mon lads, this way, follow me..." "Are you sure MiskatonicNick came this way, Pathfinder?" "Of course I am, Lowlight - damnnit, all because I'm not good ol' Spirit, the Joe's stereotyped Native American tracker no one trusts my wilderness instincts! Pah! I'll show you! I'll show everyone that I deserve more than just two poxy little figures!"   growwwwllllllllllll "Hey? Swampy... Pathfinder... guys... did you hear that? Sounded like a wolf!?!"

"Don't worry, Tripwire, ain't no wolves of any kind round here... I would've spotted signs of them by now..."

..... ........ "Phew... grrrrrowwwwwllllllll

... though I've got a bad feeling about this..." grrrrrowwwwwllllllll

"It's ok - no wolves... the Tigers ate them all!" "NOOOOOO!" "Hah! Only joking, Swamp Rat... none of them either. This is a perfectly safe path. Trust me.   Hey, what do you mean 'Ptooie', Skidmark? Sheesh... all because of one little training camp accident; how was I to know that was poison oak? And it wasn't edible? And at least we all know how Killer Bees got their name now... and that the best way to calm a wild bear is *not* to kick it up the ass... but we gave all the kids a decent burial... even if it was in quicksand and we never found the gravediggers... and yes, so I accidently burnt down a National Park..." "Sir... sir... sir...urrkkkkk" "oh, ok, Two National Parks...

"Look, if there were dangers like wolves or tigers I, Pathfinder - the greatest Wilderness tracker on the Joe's payroll - would know all about it. I can assure you that there's nothing remotely dangerous - not even any cannibalistic pygmies...

... but I promise we're safe here.

... there's nothing to worry about on this path... no traps, cannibals, wild animals or...

...dangerous predators of any sort! You have my word!"

"Good, now you've all shut up I've got a little surprise for you... there's a nice little camp site ahead where we can set up base; Camp Crystal Lake... ... there's even a lake we can go skinny-dipping in; won't that be fun lads? Lads?... ... Oh bugger... not again"

Anyhow, back to what passes as a plot around here... and the arrival of a couple of visitors at the doors of Castle Von Doom...

"Gee... thanks for the loan of your Sword of Power, Unkie Skeletor - it's just what we need for erm... our school's Show and Tell project!" "Bye bye, Unkie Skelly.

"Who was that at the door, Skeletor?" "Just my nieces, Miss Fear...

... they've borrowed my sword as I won't be needing it to slice up Miskatonicnick anymore now that we have another project to work on" "HAH! Damn right we do! Doom doesn't want to be shrunken little blockman! This is all Richards' fault!"

"Now, now, Victor, calm down - we don't know that... I shall have our best Mad Scientists work out how to restore you as soon as possible"

For Toyville's now brittle grip on Reality has fractured even here... and Dr Doom isn't even half the villian he used to be... "PAH! Doom wants to be big again NOW!"   "Hey, hi guys...

... sorry I'm late for the Conference of Evil but Toyville's going nuts - the Gornmobile's hotrod engine suddenly disappeared and the whole thing turned into a cheap pink plastic toy car! Coudn't get a taxi anywhere 'cos the same thing's happening right across town and any working vehicle has been 'appropriated' by the Joes as they run away in shame... ... I had to walk all the way here my feet are killing me...

"Eh?" "Argghhhh! Doom has been swallowed up! Where am I? It's all dark... ... and it stinks..." "What the hell was that I sat on? And why's my butt talking?

... damn, I need to sit down" "Eh? Why is it going all dark?" "No... Gorn, wait - not there! That's Doom's..." Jeez... what's up there? Something's moving!" "Victor? Victor! Can you hear me!" "This is all Richards' fault!" "Ewwww... how are we going to explain this down at the Emergency Room?" "Eh?... Oh. Do not worry, Ms. Fear... I had a red hot vindaloo last night; that'll soon have the Doc shifted out!" "You did say 'shifted' didn't you?" "NO! Doom does not want to go there! Quick - cut to a different scene! Quick! Oh no... for the love of Go...