Meanwhile, somewhere out in the wilderness of Toyville's wild outback(yard) three figures huddle around a wholly unconvincing campfire...

"This fire isn't throwing out much heat" "That's because it's a cheap fake plastic one, Ashley... it looked better in the photos on ebay..." "Great - not only wanted fugitives hunted by all kinds of bad guys but we're stuck with crappy plastic accessories too. And we still haven't found the grail diary... sheesh, it's almost the end of chapter seven and the Grail Quest hasn't even begun yet! I want a new agent!" "Calm down, Mary-Kate...I've had the diary all this time..." "Eh? But where?"

... hidden away in this here brown paper bag!"

"psssst, tee hee... I bet I know where... I bet he hid it up his..." **giggle** "ooo... Mary-Kate, that's rude!" "Yeah, but it's big enough to take the whole Encyclopedia Britannica... and I'm not talking about the DVD version!" "I've had it safely stowed away all this time...

"oooo... the Grail Diary... gimme gimme gimme!" "Hang on, did we just miss the big MiskatonicNick unmasked scene?" "Who cares... it's the Grail Diary... gimme gimme gimme" "It won't do you too much good, Ashley - the map to where the Holy Grail is hidden is pretty easy to follow... but to enter you must have three special items; an amulet of evil, a sword of power and an undying heart." "Oh poo... where are we gonna get those?"

"Yeah, there's not a Quest Items 'R' Us store around here for miles..." "... oh hell, does that mean we've gotta endure more endless chapters of this cr.." "ahem... credit me with some smarts girls; behold - the necklace I stole from Dr Evil and Darth Vader's lightsabre - I reckon that's the first two quest items sorted." "Ooooo...yeah, Amulet of (Dr) Evil and that's definitely a sword of power!" "But what about the undying heart?"

"I'm glad you ask, Twins, I'm glad you ask... I have a plan... but I'm going to need your help...BWHAHAHAHAH!" "Erm... I don't like the sounds of that Ashley..." "Neither do I, Mary-Kate, neither do I..."

"Eeek! There's one already!" "A Nazi Zombie!" "Run towards the trees Mary-Kate... run!"

And so soon the Olsen Twins find themselves wandering through an ominously quiet meadow... "This plan of MiskatonicNick's really stinks, Ashley." "Yeah... but it kinda makes sense - after all, it's one of his stories, we must be getting to the final chapters and *they* still haven't made an appearance!" "But remember what they did to Buffy!" "I know... but remember my plan too, Mary-Kate... " "Oh yes..." **giggle** Suddenly... rising from the ground... "BRAINS!"

And as the Olsens flee, MiskatonicNick leaps from his hiding place, lightsabre at the ready...  "Well done, Twins!" "Brains!" "Hey, Mr Stinky! Over here... come and get it!

CHARGE!" "Thwack? A lightsabre sound effect? Talk about cheap recycling of past soundeffects..." "Quit moaning, Ashley! Right - here it comes... get ready - one last thwack and... "Yay! Caught it!"

"Ta-da! One undead - undying - heart! "BRAINS! BRAINS!" "Whoa! More Nazi zombies... this lightsabre will make short work of them too; how about some spare undead hearts while I'm about it twins?"     "No... I think one is all we'll be needing, Baghead... oh, just one little question..."

"How come, if you killed Annakin Skywalker so removing Darth Vader from Reality, you're using the Dark Lord of the Sith's lightsabre?"

"Eh? What?" "Surely no Vader, no sabre..." "Bloody hell, Ashley - shut up - don't go pointing out temporal paradoxes or...

... oh crap... it's gone. What the hell did you have to do that for?"

"What... but... but..."

"Well... duh! Let's see, we've got the Grail Diary, the Amulet of Evil, an Undying Heart and I'm sure Uncle Skeletor will let us borrow his Sword of Power..." "Uncle Skeletor!?! What kind of sucky plot revelation is that?" "... shut up, Baghead... you see; with all these we don't really need you around anymore!"

"But nothing. Bye bye, Baghead... I wish we could say it's been nice knowing you..." "... but, **giggle**, that would be lying!" "I love it when a plan comes together, Mary-Kate! C'mon, let's go and find ourselves The Holy Grail!" "And then we can dance on MiskatonicNick's grave! If the zombies have left enough bits to be buried!" "Yay! Happy Endings all round!" "Eh? Like f*** that's a happy ending! No keep back, Zombies... no... NOOOO!" TO BE CONTINUED... Great Scott! Could this be the end of MiskatonicNick (oi, stop cheering at the back!)? Betrayed not only by the devious Olsen Twins but also by a plot hole you could drive a bloody great big truck through? But will the Olsens find it plain sailing to get to the Holy Grail? Uncle Skeletor? Can these plot twists get any lamer? Tune in for all those answers (especially that last one... 'cos you ain't seen nothin' yet!) and more as the Grail Quest plot finally gets underway in... TOYVILLE 2 - A TALE TOO FAR!