Let's wait a bit for that shocker of a plot revelation and instead take anew a rainbow ride to the Forest of Dreams, where faeries play as the sunlight gleams... "Oooo... my head hurts; I think I landed right on my bag." "Aw, you poor little mite, it must've hurt from such a great height" "Please rest here for a while whilst you regain your smile"

"And while you rest, Look inside this treasure chest"

"Thank you, ladies... ooo... looks just like one of those equipment packs from that Lost Action Man Backyard Safari, it's still a mystery what fate befell that brave adventurer. I wonder if... ... hey, new clothes! Cool." "And now we must bid you bye, As to our Queen we must fly."

"But do not worry for we shall return, and then so much more you shall learn"

And so MiskatonicNick changes for his audience with the Faerie Queen unaware that at that very moment the Olsens are continuing their search for him...

"Damn, where ever can that fool be?" I don't know, Ashley - hey let's ask those big monkeys over there if they've seen him?" "OOK OOK OOK!" "Erm... I don't think they're friendly, Mary-Kate! Run! Run for the hills!"

"Nooooooo! Help!"

"Oh sh*t," Ashley... I don't think the hills were a good idea..." "Ohmigod more Monkeys! Hasbro ones too ! Some sick puppy has been buying Hasbro's crappy 12" Apes in bulk!" "Look out - they've got a net!" "Too late!"

"Oook!"*

*Roughly trans. "Well done lads. That'll teach 'em for calling us proud Apes monkeys! Now let us take these intruders to the court of the Ape King where they shall face Simian justice!" "Please Mr Monkey... we didn't mean any harm!" "OOOOOOKKKK!" ** "shssh Mary-Kate, you're only getting the monkeys mad and we don't want them throwing their crap around!" "OOK! OOOOKKK"***   ** "We're APES not monkeys!"

***" Look, will you stop calling us bloody Monkeys! You're only making it worse on yourselves! And we do not throw our faeces around... oh wait... yes we do... but you're both still going to pay for those other Monkey comments!"

Well, looks like the Olsens are up a certain creek without a paddle! However, after his fall MiskatonicNick seems to have landed on his feet...

"Hey hey - neat new outfit!

Almost exactly what that Action Man was wearing when he disappeared..."

"Hark - The Queen will see you now, For a friendly little pow-wow"   "Ok, ok... I'm coming... ... ... ... ... and why do I have a gut feeling that this Faerie Queen is going to be Hasbro-style fugly... or a Spice Girl doll...

or it'll be Max Steel in a spangly tutu... or... or... HOLY CRAP! Wowsa!"

"So this is our brave visitor from shores far away. Oh, why yes my sisters... Why yes, he is as perfect as you say..." "?" "He will make such a fine and strong Faerie King" "!" "Prepare the nuptual bed my sisters... it is time for a new Faerie orgy of sexual delights!" "!"

	"You will sire a whole new generation of Faeries, my handsome prince" "!" "First with me, and then by the sun's next rise with all my sisters too!" "!" "Every desire, no matter how sleazy or depraved will be yours!"
	"Wahey... for unexpected plot twists this is one of the bloody best I've ever been in! And the rhyming couplets have stopped too!" "Yes, my dashing Lord, Faerie royalty is spared the Rhyme... instead of books of poetry we study only the rudest and filthiest of sex manuals!" "Now is this getting betterer and betterer" "A night of orgiastic delight awaits you, my sweet love... and on the new morrow we shall have you for lunch..."
	"Well, actually the phrase is 'to lunch'... but all things considered it's not the time to be picky" "Why no, my studmuffin liege... 'FOR lunch'; we faeries dine upon the still living flesh of our lover - it imbues the baby faeries within us with their father's powers and prowess!" "... ... oh crap" "Is there something wrong, my bagheaded sextoy?" "Erm. Yes. I guess a quickee divorce is out of the question?" "Oh, my delicious lovetool... how you jest. It is far too late for such thoughts of folly. You are ours now, there is no leaving Faerietopia for you now. My legion of horny faeries will not permit it!" "Errr... so I do the dirty, as it were, with you and all the Faerie girls and then you eat me?" "Yes"

"Hmmm, well slight problem here - the thought of impending death by cannibalism, even by a horde of cute little winged nymphettes, is a bit of a passionkiller... I don't think I'm going to be up to impregnating anyone... Sorry to disappoint, ladies. Oh well, I'd best be leaving..."

"Whoa... stop right there. I don't think I want to know where you milk fairy juice from! Ok... could you ladies just excuse me for a moment... I've just gotta get myself ready for our night of lusting!"

"That is not what we wishee Here, try this enchanted Squishee" "Please with this you must sluice for it is magical priapic fairy juice" "Freshy milked so loving us you may, Squeezed only this morn from..."   "Very well, my cute little love-machine... but do not think of escape; for horny faeries will not let you fly. And not even the old Palitoy Safari Action Man could escape our loving! And he was a true hero, not a tw*t with a bag over his head!"