Meanwhile, up in Jabba's Bar...
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Meanwhile, up in Jabba's Bar... |
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"I've told you before - if you want a drink, show me your ID as proof of age, Shorty." "Ack, I show ye my bloody axe, you young upstart. I am Gimli, son of..." "Look here kid, just get out of here and take your unconvincing fake beard with you."
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"mutter mutter... *him* calling me short! mutter mutter 'scuse me gents... mutter mutter" |
"Right, everyone out of here - us GI Joes are taking over this foul and wretched den of inquity and vice; we're gonna clean up Toyville!" (thinks; but most importantly that bagheaded freak and the grail diary are here somewhere!) |
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"Ohmigod... is this somekind of bust?" "Yes, very impres... damn! RIGHT! OUT! NOW!...
... with Joes in charge that kind of cheap double-entendre filth ends here!" |
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Hang on, if the Joes are still upstairs in the bar then who's shooting down in Jabba's Court? Well, I'll give you a couple of minutes to think about while we check up with Mayor Ackbar... |
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"As Mayor of Toyville I'm entitled to a fair trial you know"
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"Yeah, yeah...we promise we won't lock you up and throw away the key... too far." "Hey boys, where you takin' ol' squid head?"
"Hey, do you mind, that's a totally different Star Wars character!" |
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"Erm, sir... remember what Duke said about annoying the locals... and not to." "Pah! These two are troublemakers. Action figure wannabes! Look at that rooted hair - that makes them fashion dollies, they oughta be in pink flowery dresses, have impossibly tiny waists and even more impossibly tiny feet. Hell, they're even packin' heat... and we all know that girlies and firearms don't mix - that's why GI Joe Scarlett only has a crossbow, and even then it has rubber-tipped quarrels!"
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"Yeah - like these bimbos would know if they had any kind of education; but look at them - cheap fashion doll punks with empty-headed grins... damnit look at this one's see-thru top! By the Toy Gods, have you no shame? We're childrens toys! "Heh, it says over 18's only on my box... wanna look?" "Ewwww; you disgust me!"
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"Well, don't worry - we weren't going to use our guns on you or your men, Beachyhead...
...'cos that would be too much like a waste of good bullets!"
"UURRKKK!"
"Damned toy chauvinist pig!" |
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"Wow!" "We've gotta stop meeting like this Mr Mayor." "Eh?" |
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"Pink Box Security... remember, I saved your butt in the last story too?" "Oh yeah, sorry, I wasn't expecting any kind of continuity in this rubbish!" |
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(note to brain; kill Ackbar off in the next Chapter) So, as the Pink Boxers rescue the Mayor - what's happening over in Jabba's Court; who was responsible for the gunfire...? |
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"Cobras attack! Show no Mercy!" "COBRA-LA! COBRA-LA! COBRA-LA!"
"Oh crap" |
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"Behold! The Bagheaded one is in cahoots with Jabba! He must die before he can pass on the secret of the Grail Diary!" "No! We must not allow Cobra to capture MiskatonicNick... we must kill him!" "No! Wait! This doesn't make any sense! Unless...
... yep, thought so; cliffhanger." "Aw pooey, you mean we gotta wait until next chapter to see you get splatted!" "Don't worry Ashley, it'll be worth the wait" "Heh, about the only thing about this story that's worth anything!"
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