"Och, here we go again..."

"Bloody hell, Junior, what have I told you about riding your bike indoors!?!" "C'mon Dad, we've gotta get to that Grail Diary before the Nazi's do!"

But it's not just Brooke Shields and the Jones boys getting in on the action - Scoop's slip of the tongue was broadcast throughtout the length and breadth of Toyville County...

PigPimple's College of Prestidigitation...

"Gee whizz, chums - The Holy Grail!" "Aw, can we turn over, Harry, it's The Rugrats on Cartoon TV now!" "Shut up, Ron; think about it. The Holy Grail... everlasting life... everlasting youth..." "So?" "Sooooo... oh jolly gosh, yes! We stay forever young - never growing too old to be recast in the next movies in this franchise!" "Yes! And our agents can stop pumping us full of puberty delaying drugs!" "Awwww... too late... mine's already taken a couple of bricks to me nadgers!" "Then it's agreed then; we'll use our spiffy magical powers to find this Holy Grail! And turn whoever tries to stop us into frogs!" "YAY!" "And then stick a straw up their bums and blow!" YAY... ewwwww, Ron!"

and at The Imperial Rest Home for Elderly Despots "The Holy Grail. Yes! Young Tarkin, release the Probe Droids... I desire even more eternal life. And we can use it's energies to power Death Star 3" "Sheesh, again with the Death Star" "The Holy Grail! Yes! Young Tarkin, release... "You already said that, your Imperial Highness." "I did? I'm 101 years old you know.

... And my colostomy bag needs changing. Nurse! Nurse!... Nurse; The Holy Grail! Yes! Release....

Meanwhile, in the ominous shadows of Castle Doom an Extraordinary General Meeting of SCUMBAG* is gathered... *Social Co-operative Union of Murderous Badguys and Associated Goons

"BWHAHAHAHAH!" "The Holy Grail shall be Doom's and a new age of Evil will fall over Toyville's dollhouses! It will be a glorious time of arch villainy, foul corruption, senseless violence... and an end to bloody stupid acronyms! But first Doom must have that Grail Diary - Doom's superior intellect will solve the puzzles and clues within in a thrice!

Come, my cadre of villainous masterminds, let us find this MiskatonicNick... ... and rip the Grail Diary from his dead hands!"

It's not only the bad guys though - for over at a certain Private Detective Agency...

"Wow, Angels - look; the Holy Grail!" *hic* "If any one should have it it should be us!" "So we can stay forever young, firm and cute?" "No, Natalie, after our last film dying on it's ass and killing our careers dead we need that magical cup's healing properties something rotten; otherwise it'll be straight to video erotic thrillers for all of us!" "Damn, Alex, you're right; we've gotta get that Grail, and fast!"

"But what are we gonna do about Dre... erm, Dylan; she's smashed on cheap booze and happy pills again!" "I know; let's sober her up by stripped her naked and throwing her into a cold shower!" "Great idea!" "And we can all get in there with her too for some gratuitous all-girl nudity!"

The Jedi Council watch view the happenings upon their widescreen Holonet projector...

"Great heavens! Did you see that Master Yoda?" "Yes, Mace... Charlie's Angels with each other all naked, wet and jiggly getting will be!" "Erm, no... Master Yoda; The Holy Grail - is it not said that the cup is composed from golden midi-chlorians" "Eh? Midi-Chlorians? Master Yoda think such technobabble bad for franchise is. Weak excuse that set many fans laughing is."

"Yeah, well, I don't think anyone's gonna disagree with you there... but we can't let the Grail fall into the hands of the Dark Side! Already I sense a great disturbance in the Force..." "Oops, sorry... that'll be the curry Yoda last night had." "Yueck! Can I still despatch the Jedi army, Master Yoda - already I have heard from fellow Jedi Saesee Tiin* ; he reports seeing MiskatonicNick a prisoner of Jabba the Hutt" "Yes, go if you must... Yoda follow soon will... once the Angel's sapphic rompings finished have."   *Did you spot him? Tiin was there - see I don't just throw this story together! It's all very carefully planned and plotted. Oi, stop that laughing!

And in the secret depths of the Evil Toys bunker; "Ah, Generic SS Officer und Nazi Britney... it iz time for you to make up for your abject failures in the last story. Take mien jackbooted armies und find zis 'Holy Grail'...

... with it's Occult Powers ze might of ze Toybox's Third Reich vill be unstoppable."

Meanwhile, over at... ... well, you get the idea by now; virtually everyone in Toyville, and then some, are now after the Holy Grail; which means the Grail Diary... and there's only one poor sap in Toyville who knows where that is. So where is MiskatonicNick right now...