And so the trial of MiskatonicNick begins...

"Thank you your honour. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we are here today to... legal waffle... legal waffle...

legal waffle... legal waffle... parody can be and is no defence... legal waffle... portrayed my clients as Nazi babes, those crudely customized versions still running loose on our streets!... legal waffle... legal waffle... frequent sullying of my client's squeaky clean reputations... legal waffle... legal waffle... made these poor innocent waifs cry openly... legal waffle... legal waffle... slander... legal waffle... libel... legal waffle... lazy writing shortcuts... legal waffle... copyright violations...

"coooeeee.. MiskatonicNick - how does it feel getting screwed by the Olsen Twins?" *giggle* "Ohhhh crap - meglomaniac judge... slimy lawyer... bent jury... doomed to the gallows... and now mocked by Ashley Olsen..."

"... so, to sum up; Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I put it to you that MiskatonicNick, the foul-mouthed pervert, is guilty of the constant, unremitting, cruel and uncalled for sullying of the good names and reputations of the world's favourite all-American teenage sweethearts, the Olsen Twins! And for that abuse I say that the blackguard should burn in hell for all eternity. Or failing that, cough up several $millions in damages!" "Why not both?" "Good point, Mr Foreman of the Jury..." "... very well. Anyhow, I'm bored with all this already and shall now pass judgement... and MiskatonicNick, I trust you have clean underwear on!"

"MiskatonicNick, for the crimes outlined above I find you guil..." "WAIT! Hold the trial!

...I have some important new evidence for the defence!

"And you who the hell are you?"

"Er, please your Honour - she's Sandy Obitsu, my PA."

"You have a PA?" "Yeah, cunning plot twist, eh?" "Bollocks - last minute witness; bloody predictable and something I'd expect from a 3rd rate hack like you." "Your honour, I must object..." "Stuff that - overruled; I could do with a bloody good laugh; This had better be good, Ms. Obitsu"

"On the contrary, your Honour, this is very, very bad...

... I offer up in MiskatonicNick's defence 'The Olsen Twins' Greatest Hits... volumes one, two *and* three!" "I don't understand..." "Then let me demonstrate..."

... cue music...  ... if music it be for yes, dear reader, as chilling a thought as this may well be, these CDs (and others!) do actually exist! Go to Amazon.com if you don't believe to see... and hear for yourself!

NOOOOO! My brain is hurting! Stop it! Oh, the pain, the pain!

"Mercy! Please!"

"Don't be silly... these are the grooviest tunes!" "Yeah - they're the cutest, coolest tracks ever recorded. Everyone dance!"

"... no... the agony... the pain... must call upon all my Sith strength to summon forth the dark side of the Force to save me from this torture!"

"... yes, yes... I feel the force flowing...

... ahhhhhhh, that's better."   "OFFICERS OF THE COURT! SILENCE THAT PERNICIOUS CACOPHANY!"