This is it; the nerve-jangling, thrill-a-minute, shock-filled conclusion to this tale! ... well, the conclusion anyhow; now read on... ...but first perhaps wait for all the pictures to load so you get the full force of the startling denoument ... well, it is startling, but probably not in a good way. Or in any kind of makes good narrative sense way... ...oh, look, I'm sorry, I'm so very, very sorry. ...

"What the Frell is that?" "I think that's our Dark Lord... and our weapons aren't even puncturing it!" "BEHOLD, GREAT CTHULHU AND TREMBLE PUNY BLOCKHEADS!"

SLURP! SLURP! "Ack... frell it... help me... those tentacles... no... it's doing a 'Galaxy of Terror'* on me... HELP!"   * WARNING; blokes, do not even pause to consider the fantasy casting of Ms. Claudia Black in that *role* in Roger Corman's Galaxy of Terror it'll only lead to gibbering and drooling... ... ... gibber... drool...

"Frell it, Clint, stop standing there gibbering and drooling and frelling help me!" (Hmmm, what's that... a label... 'plush'!?! Hell, this is no Elder Outer God it's a bloody over-sized Beanie Baby... and I hate Beanie Babies!)

"Hey, Cthulhu... let's see how you like chainsaws!"

"Where the frell were you hiding that, Clint? No... on second thoughts, don't answer!"

"Mr Chainsaw meet Cuddly Cthulhu, Cuddly Cthulhu, meet Mr Chainsaw!" "NOOOOO! PUNY BLOCKHEAD... I CANNOT DIE... I AM A GOD-LIKE BEING WITH AN ARMOUR CLASS OF 47 AND 882 HIT POINTS!"

"What the hell? Is it talking in tongues?" "Frell it - look... there's something inside it!"

"What the hell? Charlie Brown? Is this some kind of sick joke? What the #@!* is this writer on?" "Gee, that was fun, Mr Eastwood - can we play again?" *Click* "Oh, Good Grief"

"Wait, there's more in here... Dungeons and Dragons rulebooks..." "Yeah... it's a fun game... do you play? Only blockheads don't!...

...Harry Potter in Class 2b taught me all about it - it's a great game; it encourages imagination, co-operation, learning, demonology, the black arts, virgin sacrifices. I made a successful Bluff skill roll (thanks to my +5 Beagle of Luck) to fool the Evil Toys into accepting me as their Dark Lord. If I'd managed to take over Toyville I'd have won the scenario and made 35th Level and gotten access to 12th Level spells and..." "Shut up, kid. Damn role-playing games..." "Apart from the Farscape one" "We were happy with jacks and BB guns when I was a kid; none of this occultist claptrap. Right, Charles Brown - you are under arrest for Attempted Genocide, Mass Murder, Major Fraud & Deceit, Slander & Libel on an incalculable scale, playing truant..." "Oh, good grief"

"Innocent kid turns Occult Whacko under the influence of Dungeons and Dragons and tries to take over the world in an orgy of blood and violence. Well, I guess there's a moral to this story..." "Namely?" "No, wait, I don't mean 'moral' I mean damp squib of an ending." "Heh, you're frelling right there, Clint." "Well, I thought it was cool."