"Your bullets will not save you now, Detective Callaghan..."

"...but my blast pistol will!"

"What... who...?" "pssst, shouldn't dead Jedi's disappear?" "Ssshhhhh, Daphne, don't open that can of worms!"

"Hi there, Cowboy" "Aeryn?... but... how... who?" "Time for one of those wobby flashback sequences...

...well, there I was; out in the wilderness, alone, unarmed and surrounded by movieland's most acid-drooling aliens...

when suddenly, from out of the bushes... "Tally ho, lads! Monsters to be had, fair damsels to be saved!" "Just like the old days, fighting off Dr Evil's fearsome hordes"

...and in a blaze of gunfire it was all over and the aliens lay dead; but who were my rescuers...

"A pleasure to have been able to help, ma'am. Who are we? We are the old, forgotten toys of childhood - played with in the backyard but lost in the line of duty. Once we were many but wildlife and rotting elastic has accounted for many of our number... but those that are left - like my eagle-eyed Action Man friends, and myself, Captain Action - are tough old toys now; ready for anything the world might throw at us."

"Wow. It's good to have you back Aeryn. Can your new friends escort Daphne back to safety" "Sure thing... and us?" "We're going after the big bad; this Dark Lord that's been whispered about in previous chapters."

Hmmm, perhaps that's what's responsible for the zombies? The last of which has just been killed by Agent Cyan of the Pink Box Colour Guard... ... but wait, there's something suspicious about this; isn't that an overly well-dressed set for just one innocent scene? What's that behind the pile of boxes? It looks like a Nazi cap...

... tee hee ...   ... giggle ... Uhoh, it's the Olsen twins... I wonder what naughty teenage hijinx they're planning now?

Oh no... they're going to shoot a custom, re-rooted Barbie in the back! How low can the Olsen Twins sink?*     * find out in 'Mary-Kate & Ashley's Farmyard Jello-Wrestling Extreme' DVD and video... available soon in plain paper bags from car-boots around the country.