The following tale is based on a true story...
... well, the bit about me winning third prize in a contest over at the UKBarbie group anyhow (thanks Angela).


PG-13

Parental Advisory; the following story contains scenes of mild horror, hints of sleaze and really really crappy plotting.

HEALTH WARNING; This product may contain traces of Mary-Kate and Ashley.


Monday Morning, 15th April 2004...

"Ah ha, I thought I heard the doorbell go - the morning post has arrived...

... oooo... there are parcels over there out in the real world!

... damn, they look tempting... but the real Nick is out for the morning...

 

"... time for me to clamber out of my mini-world and into the 1:1 scale universe Good thing this set is a top a chest of drawers! Allez-oops!

 

Now, where's Pinky Obitsu, my faithful chaufferess... TAXI!

 

..nuts, I can't wait...

and it's not as if anyone's watching...

 

 

"You called?

"The other side of the room please, Pinky."

 

"Sure thing, boss!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where to boss?"

 

 

And once there...

(... nuts, more climbing - I really gotta find where Nick stores those toy ladders...)

 

... right, let's see what's in this padded envelope...

... whoa, score - the latest movie from Aldous Pewty's 'Horny Old Toad'

(hello to any old Movie Mogul PBM'ers reading this!)

 

 

"Gladiatrix - Makes Bob Guccione's Caligula look like a maiden Aunt's Tea Party"

What a surprise find (I don't think) - a highly dubious DVD in Nick's mail. Heh, he's always so sadly predictable...

(as anyone who reads this tosh will know all too well!)

Right, Miss Pinky - to the DVD player and don't spare the gas!"


But wait, there's still movement back up on the table... why, it's those pesky Olsen twins!

 

 

 

 

 

"It's ok we can come out now, he's gone now Mary-Kate."

"Damn, that masked bastard beat us to the parcels"

 

"Oh bugger, Ashley, there aren't anymore sleazy movies in here... or even a receipt with his credit card details on"

"Never mind Mary-Kate... no way it could have matched our 'home movies' anyhow."

"giggle... yeah, those blow Pammy and Paris out of the water!"

 

"Hey, he never opened this box... oooo... I think it's the prize he won off the UKBarbie group!"

"Cool... what was it?"

"Dunno... let's open it up and find out! We may be able to flog it on ebay to fund our plans for world domination!"

"It's a My Scene dolly."

"Ewwww, what an ugly big head!"

"Yeah...but cool trendy clothes!"

"Yeah - hey, let's open her up, steal her clothes and auction off the nude dolly on the net."

 

 

"Good thinking Mary Kate... damn, where'd we put the the box opening knife..."

"Must still be on the table somewhere, lets see..."

"Hey... what was that, Mary-Kate?"

 

"I thought I heard something move..."

 

"What was what?"

 

"You're imaging things, Ashley."

"Whoa - there it goes again; sounded like plastic ripping that time!"

"Oh, Ashley - you are silly. What could be making that noise - there's only you, me and a boxed doll...

"OHMIGOD it's alive!"

 

"What do you think it wants Mary Kate?"

"Perhaps our autographs? After all, everyone in the world loves The Olsen Twins!"

"Don't be a fool, Mary-Kate! This is one of Nick's stories..."

"Oops"

"Then there's only one thing that doll will want..."

"ooooo... giggle... really? I'll get the KY Jelly..."

"Ow... the doll's got me..."

"... me too... ow... it's hurting me!"

"I'm scared, Mary-Kate!"

"Me too - let go of me you melon-headed...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


And that, dear reader, is why My Scene dolls have such big heads!


EPILOGUE...

"Hey, sweet - my prize has arrived... hmmm, she's not exactly mint in box condition - darned postman... eh?

... heh, since when have they been making Pregnant My Scene Barbies? Eh?

Damn, I could swear I just heard her burp!

"Ooooo... neat; Angela's included some Olsen boots in the package...

EWWWWW! What the F*#@!

THE END?


Return to the Main Page

Back to the Q&A index